I must begin with a disclaimer. Having followed little of its plot, humour or dramatic intricacies, my review of Bollywood smash hit Dabangg may lack some depth. What I provide instead is an account of an unparalleled cinematic experience.
Some bloke with shades on – let’s call him Mr.Bangg because I didn’t catch his name and imagine he’s played by the Bollywood Bond – has beef with some other bloke while also falling in love and sorting some family niggles. He also happens to be damn sexy and his dancing is fly.
What does this add up to? Three hours of glorious action, romance, slapstick, literally bone-crunching sound effects, gunfire, sunglasses, sex and oodles of impromptu dancing. There is never a tiresome moment.
We watched this spectacle in one of the world’s largest Bollywood cinemas. Certainly the place dwarves Leicester Sq’s Odeon, even if it struggles to maintain their standards of cleanliness. But forget Odeon popcorn, here Samosas are 10rs (about 15pence) and drinks just 25.
After our unwelcome interval (how would Mr.Bangg escape this time?) the film resumed, but this time with a technical glitch which rendered the speech inaudible. Outcry ensued in the vast stalls. Before long a crowd formed, who quickly decided on an appropriate course of action.
Around eighty people piled on to the stage in protest, only to be greeted by the sound of a big musical number on screen. We watched in disbelief as half the audience joined in the dancing. They were escorted out and the film continued.
Dabangg is showing in all good Indian picturehouses from now until someone decides to whack something else on instead.